I am reading
In The Body In The World by Eve Ensler. I have not been so transformed by a memoir
since The Breast Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde. An author (she wrote The Vagina
Monologues), playwright, activist, feminist, and speaker, Eve
Ensler is an inspiration. She is extremely quotable, but one of her more famous statements is, “Stop fixing your body and start fixing the
world.”
She’s right.
It made me think. At what point exactly
did my body become unacceptable, something that needs fixing? When did yours? And it might be that I am approaching my 44th
birthday and have lived with a body with disabilities for most of that time,
but I have grown tired of thinking of my body as a problem, or parts of it as
problems that need fixing. I am done
with that. This idea has gotten me
absolutely nowhere. There are so many more things in this world that need fixing and it is time to put my energies into far more useful endeavours. It is time for a
re-frame, a change, a new way of being in the world. So, instead I am going with this: This is the
only body I will ever have and it is just fine.
It is beautiful. And I promise
you: so is yours. Your body is beautiful. Not
“your body is beautiful flaws and all.” Just, “Your body is beautiful.”
Yes it
is. Don’t argue with me.
Let me leave you with this, from Eve
Ensler’s The Good Body: “Do you say
that tree isn't pretty cause it doesn't look like that tree? We're all trees.
You're a tree. I'm a tree. You've got to love your body, Eve. You've got to
love your tree. Love your tree. (Leah)”
Wishing you a day with beautiful
transformations of your own,
hk
I agree that appearance is overrated. However, when my body needs fixing it either gets fixed or it brings me one step closer to irreversible health issues, which diminishes my well-being, which diminishes my energy levels, which diminishes my ability to fix other things or help people as much as I could before my body needed fixing.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if it needs fixing appearance-wise, it also means that I may be outgrowing a wheelchair which means reduced maneuverability, the cost of new equipment to continue driving my van and spending more energy moving extra weight instead of being useful.
I'm not disagreeing with you, but I see as the need for fixing as a functional thing, not an appearance issue. But, then, I'm a guy and comfortable with my scruffy face and chest and shoulder hair poking out. :-)
I removed my comment because I made an error that make my sentence difficult to understand. I have re-posted.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Yes, you are very scruffy.
When I read Eve's quote about "fixing" I think she means the messages we all, but mostly women receive about our bodies not being good enough, that we need this or that to be acceptable, to be beautiful. There is another kind of "fixing" message that gets applied to us, as people with physical disabilities, and that is that our disabilities need eliminating or fixing, and that those disabilities diminish our intrinsic value as human beings.
This is a different thing than the "fixing" we, as people with disabilities, need when we have pain or the numerous physical problems (I won't make a list, that would be long and depressing) we live with all the time that other people may not ever experience. And that is not to mention the "things" in our live that need constant fixing - vehicles, lifts, adaptive equipment, wheelchairs, garage doors, etc.
So I see the need for fixing as both issues, but in this blog entry I am speaking to the first.
One more thing: when I say we should love our bodies as they are, I also mean that we need to take care of them the best we can too (but this is another blog topic...) :)
Thanks for your comment, Jason. I really appreciate you reading.
hk